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The 'Bad' Page
The Badness of me
These feelings are the feelings that cause me to think, cause me to bleed. The feeling are my weakness, my tears. They arn't always bad in the end, but all of these feelings are considered unhealthy to some extent. Thankfully I never feel them for too long.
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Bad with a touch of Love and General 'Bad'
Dead
The skies are black,
the stars are lost.
The moon, the sun,
are no more.
The flowers are drooping,
their scent no longer enjoyable,
their beauty no longer,
a sight to see.
The beach is cold,
the waves bring cold memories,
back to the surface,
the surface of my soul
The clouds are gray,
their ominous darkness,
threatening me,
with their booming voice.
My heart is black,
caught between love and hate,
love of you,
hate of me.
Not Worth It Anymore
I looked to you for happiness,
I looked to you for joy,
I looked to you for fulfillment,
looked for peace for this boy.
I prayed for you to realize,
I cried for you to see,
I bled for you to feel,
all that’s going on inside me,
It’s taken all the pain,
from the rejection,
all the feelings,
of the false projection,
all the fun,
from the misconceptions
but now I know...
It’s not worth it anymore,
to be here alone,
standing with my back to the door,
despite the love i’d shown,
Holding roses into the dark,
Not worth the depression,
not worth the pain,
all this complication,
is driving me insane.
I used to look at you in love,
and though I know I still do,
I need to at least pretend,
I’m not in love with you,
You were the first one,
to make me feel this special way,
but you never would admit it,
never had the same to say,
And then you left for your world,
and left it all unsaid,
except the painful words,
that now leave me dead,
And It’s taken all the pain,
from the rejection,
all the feelings,
of the false projection,
all the fun,
from the misconceptions
but now I know...
It’s not worth it anymore,
to be here alone,
standing with my back to the door,
despite the love i’d shown,
Holding roses into the dark,
Not worth the depression,
not worth the pain,
all this complication,
is driving me insane.
I couldn’t look at any other,
You ahd ruined me,
My eyes were closed,
but now they’re open and I can see,
I felt so bad,
to feel such love for another,
but you were satisfied,
with me as your brother,
So i’m walking on,
I’m not gonna feel anymore guilt,
You lost your chance,
And my hands are washed of the silt,
Because It’s taken all the pain,
from the rejection,
all the feelings,
of the false projection,
all the fun,
from the misconceptions
And now I know...
You’re not worth it,
If i’m here all alone,
with your back to me,
despite all the love i’v shown,
leaving me holding roses into the dark,
You’re not worth the rejection,
you’re not worth my pain,
Because you won’t love me,
to continue on I’d be insane
You’re worth it for the love,
but without it you are nothing,
searching and loving the unlovable,
made me nothing,
Farewell.
You’re not worth it anymore
“Who am I?”
Who am I?
That I can look myself in the eye,
when I can’t see past my time.
Who am I?
That though I fall so much,
I just get back up and such?
Who am I?
That I can walk,
when I can’t bear to talk?
Who am I?
That though shame lives in my eyes,
I even dared to look at you?
Who am I?
I’m lost and cold and afraid,
and utterly alone.
Who am I?
What use is looking myself in the eyes,
without you in my arms?
Who am I?
That I’d even dare to dream of love,
that I’d ever feel it possible?
Who am I?
Am I somebody special?
As amazing as you?
Who am I?
I wish I knew,
All I know, is I need you.
Who am I?
I truly can’t conceive,
But I’m trying so hard to believe,
Who am I!!?
I’m what I am,
and what I’m meant to be,
Who am I?
I’m trying to understand,
who am I?
Who am I?
A young child at heart,
Who am I?
Who am I?
Can anyone tell me?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I, Who am I?
Who am I!!!!?
“Tears”
Tears,
Shameless things,
Men don’t shed them,
And yet I do......
Am I a boy?
Or a man afraid?
Where do I belong,
on this morbid plane
Tears,
y things,
Pain rolls down with each,
My face bears too many.
Am I too weak?
Or is it a moment of such?
Pain mocks me,
everywhere I go.
Tears,
selfish things,
Publicly weeping,
Is a pity party for sure.
Am I too soft?
Am I too sensitive?
Why must I deal with them,
with a stone cold face.
Tears,
Lovely things?
They tell my secrets,
My life, my love....
Ah...
Loving tears,
peaceful solace,
that’s why
"Love"
Oh love, Come back,
Take back this sad child,
this lost lover of you,
the one that cared for you.
Take back his clammy hands,
and dry them,
take back his hallow eyes
and fill them
Take his broken spirit,
and lift it,
and take his weary soul,
and nurse it.
Take back his broken heart,
mend it,
Oh love,
mend it like never before.
Oh Love,
How blind must you be!
for when he knocked at your solumn door,
You never answered.
Give him his peace,
His mind and his heart,
Give him love,
For he died for you..
“Change/Alone”
Tearless eyes towards the east,
the face of a new beginning,
but my heart remains torn,
confused with untrue feelings
What ever did I do?
Did I really change so much?
Or am I destined to die alone,
I will die old yet young.
Better to d and lost,
I say try it,
Living with a 3 piece heart,
isn’t the best way to life.
GENERAL 'BAD'
Cry Out
My eyes cry out,
out for my lost.
My lost love, my lost purity.
My eyes cry out,
out for my soul,
tainted by this god forsaken land.
My eyes cry out,
out in pain,
pain from all this thinking I do,
My eyes cry out,
for you and yours,
their love for you is unconditional,
My eyes cry out,
for my eyes,
they cry so long for everything
“Stop and Pose”
I lose my head, oh there it goes,
And I wonder if anybody know,
the things I do,
I follow my emotions the way the river flows,
when I see a camera I stop and pose,
to not ruin my image.
But I know,
From the depths of my cold soul,
I can’t hide it forever,
If I ever wanna be complete and whole,
I’m gonna have to let it go.
“The image”
A striking reflection,
Gazing into my eyes,
who is that fool I see?
The one whom I most despise?
The person gazes back,
and smirks,
it make me cringe in annoyance,
to see all of this man’s quirks
I reach for the man,
but he reaches too,
and I become lost and wonder,
which image is true?
I wish he’d leave me alone,
the man whom I see,
but the I finally realize,
the person I is me.
“Without”
Falling through a spiral,
wishing for the lost,
finding only what I seek,
nothing else,
searching for junk,
and finding it,
Surely such a life,
Is one I can live without
“Darkness”
Cold, lonely, afraid,
these words tire my frail mind,
they leave me to fend for myself
and leave me to die,
Maybe the world isn’t cold,
but to my exposed flesh it chills,
My runs thin as I realize,
how the world leaves me now.
Are my tears that call into the night,
ever heard by anyone,
is the burning they cause,
felt by anyone
Can anyone begin to understand,
what I’m rambling about,
I cannot begin to explain,
all my shame and pain
I tire of this!
What use is there in feelings,
what use is there for love?
It only causes pain.
Cruel world that I live in,
You’ve taken my heart,
my mind, my soul, my dreams,
so take from me finally my flesh.
Let it not bear me pain anymore,
Why serve a hating master,
when obeying ends in as much pain as not,
Embrace the darkness of the end.
“Pains”
Bitterness,
robs my soul,
where is the peace I once held?
Sorrow,
tears my heart,
Where is the Life I once lived?
Anger,
rips away my mind,
Where is the patience I once knew?
Sin,
Ruins me,
Where is the purity I once had within?
Shame,
ridicules my being,
Where is the pride that once kept me?
Evilness,
knocks at my door,
Where is the innocence?
Gone?
Is it all?
Gone?
Never!
it’s still there,
but I refuse to accept it!
“Loss of feeling”
The pain comes,
drawing near with open jaws,
with it’s sharp claws,
tearing away at my soul.
Another beast emerges,
tearing and ravishing,
my body’s shattered,
my heart broken.
Another one comes,
to finish the job,
removing everything human,
and casting my heart in stone.
I cannot feel,
anymore pain,
nor more sorrow,
can haunt my life.
A compliment means little,
as I know otherwise,
and continuing is so worthless,
I’ve learned there’s no point to trying.
So I sit, waiting,
for my sleep to come,
and I wish twice over,
my soul the Lord to keep.
Though my heart hardens,
yet a single shard remains,
though relieve may never come,
that shred can still feel the rains.
“Anger”
Anger fills my being,
leaving me insane,
trying withhold mercy,
to ignore all my pain.
As another blow is dealt,
my face flashes red,
and soon my sting is felt,
and I beat the man .
And when I realize,
the damage I’d inflicted,
I remember back,
to the scene I’d depicted.
A sole question plagues me,
the man I’d beat, I couldn’t see,
In my malice,
I had killed me....
“Waste?”
I lose myself within,
the wailing walls of agony,
Caught up wishing,
for other’s well being.
Why is that a waste?
“Tense”
To my lips,
from my tongues tip,
I speak the forsaken,
and abandon the path I’d taken,
I tell the truth,
and I’m treated like a broken tooth.
Oh sorrow for me,
Why must this be?
My heart says go,
while my brain says no!
East becomes west,
and evil, best.
Such confusion of mine,
yet I’m convinced I’m fine,
Why can’t I become mellow,
like every ordinary fellow?
I’m doomed in this life,
to have a worthless strife.
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'Bad' with a sense of God
Loss
Bitterness,
robs my soul,
where is the peace I once held?
Sorrow,
tears my heart,
Where is the Life I once lived?
Anger,
rips away my mind,
Where is the patience I once knew?
Sin,
Ruins me,
Where is the purity I once had within?
Shame,
ridicules my being,
Where is the pride that once kept me?
Evilness,
knocks at my door,
Where is the innocence?
Gone?
Is it all?
Gone?
Never!
it’s still there,
but I refuse to accept it!
“ Arms “
When I cry,
To myself and wonder why,
wonder why life goes on,
bearing past the dawn,
without the care of ease,
sorrow does whatever it will please
Tearing my heart in bitter two,
Lost alone and wondering what to do,
I’m tired of living in my hovel here,
Feeling so alone, for forever I fear,
I wanna give every pain away,
but I don’t know what to say.
I want somebody to hold me,
till my eyes can again see,
to wipe away my tears,
till I get over my fears,
Somebody to take the pain,
and ease my mind and make it sane,
But I feel something around,
Without nary the smell or sound,
The arms that have never left, never run,
of the loving, forgiving, compassionate Son,
Ah, somebody does hold me near,
The arms of my Father are here.
“Failure”
Tearless are my eyes,
Unreachable remains my prize,
all the treasure for which I fought,
shattered in a moment nary the though.
My heart collapses destroying it’s own,
I lose sight of my dreamy throne.
How could I begin again,
if the first time I couldn’t win?
Selfless giving has given me hell,
and for it I’ve only fell,
following the words of God,
hasn’t helped my holy heaven bound trod.
Heaven bring down with you,
mercy and love for me too.
Life has no end for me,
Though from it I wish to flee
Woe to those who, like me, lose their way,
for to those life turns out hard to play,
first aggression was demanded of me,
and now for it passiveness is my fee.
To fight to win,
or lose to sin,
giving up it all,
doesn’t help me after I fall.
“Our Losses”
Tears pouring out into the night,
nothing seems to make it right,
Oh God, why must the be shed,
of lambs who haven't been led.
Oh Lord I ask you to bless the lost,
and please oh God, spare us the cost,
of our children's lives and dreams,
Our heart's are breaking, our faith tearing at the seams.
Our loss of our people ,all our hope,
Is bearing us more pain than we can cope,
Give us peace about our loss,
I ask you our burdens to toss.
so God please take our pain,
Bless us all for what we share,
Because in the end we can't sustain,
Our bodies, our pain, we won't care.
“Fear”
Fear,
Of the unknown,
Petrifying,
horrifying,
Where?
How?
When?
Why?
Can it be avoided?
Why live like this!!!?
Asking all these questions!
Let it go!
What if’s are only,
to a sane mind,
what about’s,
will tear your heart to shreds
Let it go,
fear?
Fear what?
I Am is here.
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